I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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