Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
