You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
