it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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