you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice