Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just found puke in my bra..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.