If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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