big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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