Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
