haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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