try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
