More tranny stories later!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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