My hair reeks of homosexuality.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize