That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
