you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
