so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
