It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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