I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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