3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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