You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
