Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
