Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.