just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.