And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
