Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At least make sure they are 18
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.