i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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