Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left