she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
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Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.