I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.