ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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