Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
