so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
