You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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