So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize