the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize