I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
