He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
