And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
