Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
