Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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