Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think i peed on brittanys purse
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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