we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
