You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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