Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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