Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
