Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
