I looked at my own cervix.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
