oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
