He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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