We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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