dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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