it wasn't lemon gatorade
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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