I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
