He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
