Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
