if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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