We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
