If that was your dad, he is hot
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
