well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize