Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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