guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
