Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
