so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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